So many questions, so little answers. 23 October 2009
Posted by Anonymously Secret in Posts that I cannot categorize, Posts that I try to be funny but failed miserably.Tags: answers, bored, boring, camera, depressed, entertainment, fun, funny, humor, humour, laughs, life, pancakes, penis, personal, PMS, questions, random, ridiculous, scammers, sex, steak, thoughts, unibrows, violence
10 comments
Dearest readers, lately I’ve been pondering about many things that usually go on unanswered. So feel free to answer my following curious questions, because I can think about them all day long but still wont have the answer even if I Google it.
1) My mum thinks that talking to yourself is a sign of a mental disorder. Somebody please disagree with her!
2) How does pancake taste like? I never had them before.
3) How does it feel for guys to have a penis? Doesn’t it feel uncomfortable or weird? I mean there’s a 4-6 inches rod dangling from between your crotch! Surely it feels weird somehow!
4) Can someone teach me how to hypnotize myself to sleep? Or some other way to cure my insomnia.
5) I broke my only cure to insomnia, my mp3 player, by overcharging it. How do I fix it?
6) How can some people smile into a camera so confidently? Every time I tried smiling into it, my cheeks start feeling numb and my smile begins to look like an evil smirk. Plus, I look like an idiot in the picture!
7) How does steak taste like? I don’t eat red-meat so I want to know what I’m missing out.
8) Don’t tampons hurt? I imagine it would feel like having a shrivelled-up mini-penis inside you all day long.
9) I look down on everyone that I meet. Do you think this is a problem?
10) Why are scammers sometimes such bad liars? I mean “I am a princess of a small Tibetan island…” and “My wife and kids died in a freak accident”. Pfft!
11) My dog doesn’t budge even when I kick him in the butt repeatedly (Just for the kick of it, hah!) What is wrong with him?
12) I hate my own name. God, what should I do?
13) I feel very violent lately. A little help over here?
14) Do couples ever become conscious about each others’ morning breath? How can they stand it?
15) Do girls with PMS have sex with their boyfriends? Do their boyfriends mind?
16) Why are all sportsmen sooo hot!? But why are sportswomen so ugly sometimes?
17) My school’s librarian has unibrows. I really want to borrow a book! But I’m too afraid to look at her.
18) Do guys like female weightlifters? The kind of weightlifters with really really huge muscles. You know, the ones you see on Olympics.
19) Why am I sitting and sweating on this sofa in a hot room when I have a fully functional air-condition that is not switched on?
20) I don’t think I am funny at all. Tell me, am I funny?
You don’t have to answer all these questions — only the ones you know the answer to, of course. So please, give me some answers!!!
~ Anonymously Secret
My blog and I share a special thing, if you know what I mean ;) 5 September 2009
Posted by Anonymously Secret in Posts that I try to be funny but failed miserably.Tags: award, awesome blogs, blog, blogger, blogging, fun, funny, humor, humour, laughs, links, personal, random, thoughts
17 comments
I can tell you’re jealous :P
Can you see it? Can you see my very shiny and beautiful award? Look at it’s purple glow and beautiful scripted text — okay okay, I’m exaggerating I know, I’ll stop now.
I received this award from Alisha over at her blog, Alisha’s thoughts. Go visit her and drop her a friendly comment. If you dare bully her, I’ll come and murder you in your sleep. This is my very first award, you know.
Rules of award:
~ List five current obsessions.
~ Pass the award on to five more fabulous blogs.
~ On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.
~ When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well.
~ Don’t forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by leaving a comment on their blog.
I cannot believe there are RULES! Well whatever, I’ll do anything to get my award!
Here are my current obsessions:
1) My precious beloved BLOG!
2) Stalking other bloggers on their blog.
3) Daydreaming about a hot and hunky guy for hours and hours.
4) Attending Japanese class (not because the teacher likes me, but… well, yeah, the teacher likes me).
5) Staying in the shower for a very long time (2 hours is my current record).
I orginally came up with 13 blogs but unfortunately I can only choose 5. Here is the shortlisted version of award-deserving blogs:
1) My honorable godmother who gives great sex advices, Delicate Flower!
2) The super-funny, obsessed-with-boobs, awesomer-than-jesus Numerator.
3) Dennis the one and only dog that can type with paws.
4) Ian for promising to teach me how to make scones.
5) MelMel for making emo posts so enjoyable to read.
You are obliged to visit these cool blogs because I spent almost an hour navigating from blog to blog to choose ONLY 5 blogs and then break my fingers linking them all. I don’t want my efforts to go to a waste. Puff.
I’m not sure why Alisha thinks I’m worthy of that award, but I shan’t think about it because I ain’t giving it up anyway. Now, I’m off to search for a suitable location in my blog to publicly display my fabulous award. Thanks again Alisha.
Have a fabulous day everyone~
~ Anonymously Secret
Merdeka Merdeka Merdeka! 31 August 2009
Posted by Anonymously Secret in Posts that I try to be funny but failed miserably, Posts that touch 'unintentionally' on sensitive issues.Tags: 31 august, 52nd, blog, blogger, blogging, funny, humour, independence day, life, malaysia, merdeka, personal, random, sijil penilaian malaysia, student, thoughts
17 comments
Merdeka is what we yell shout scream say during our Independence Day. It brings the meaning independence or freedom. Today is 52 years after the British gave us our independence as an independent country.
Seriously, there’s just so MANY August babies. There’s me, my godmother, Lily and now we have Malaysia – that is, if a country can ever be considered a baby.
For today, I shall forgive all the stupid and inconsiderate things the government did such as taking away equality among races, corruption, injusti– but I shall not go there.
I am proud of the variety of races in Malaysia that can live in harmony and befriend each other whilst learning each others’ languages. I can speak 4 languages — Mandarin, Malay, English, Japanese. Be jealous :P Teehee.
So…
Happy Independence Day Malaysia! /
Happy Birthday Malaysia!
~ Anonymously Secret
Forgive the humourlessness of this post (Is that even a word?) 28 August 2009
Posted by Anonymously Secret in Posts about the mysterious AnnSecret, Posts that I share a LITTLE of my VAST intelligence and wisdom, Posts that I try to be funny but failed miserably.Tags: blog, blogger, blogging, funny picture, gloomy, ideology, life, malaysia, MY quote, personal, philosophy, random, sad, student
18 comments
My blog is becoming somewhat a joke? The content is going down the drain but my stats are prevailing. Paradox?
It’s time I post something for myself – my thoughts, my opinions, ME. I would like to believe that my blog is like an open diary of mine. This may sound bewildering to you, but when I had a diary once, I liked letting my friends read them. I don’t know why, but I just do. Perhaps it’s the writer in me that strives for readers’ attention. That’s strange considering I don’t even like writing. Typing is different, my dear readers :)
The topic for today is my life philosophy: When everyone else is 99% of something, I want to be the 1% that they are not. (It’s strictly original by the way — meaning I did not quote it from some other influential figure.) Discuss, below.
It is not about standing out, taking the spotlight, being noticed and all those air-headed stuffs teenage girls my age aim for.
It is simply about being Unique. Different.
Daring to try new things. Courageous enough to explore. Not being afraid to be different. Facing up to all the possibilities available out there. THAT is what the 1% represents.
I realize, I don’t always fall into the one percent group that was mentioned above. There are MANY times when my heart falter or waver — uncertainty.
I want to go for it. Try it. I look beside me and around me. The emotionless expression of others pulled me back, sucked away all the excitement I had, and I changed my mind that very instant.
I’ll admit, it is not easy adhering to that ideology of mine. Not unless I live in a world where judgment and criticism does not exist. Unfortunately, I live in reality — where all those things DOES exist.
I always ask myself, why blend in when you can stand out? Why choose black when you can choose the seven colours of the rainbow! Why not be special?
Special. Unique. Different.
All those three words sometimes scare or even terrify people. Many people are afraid of being pointed at, gossip about, insulted and mocked.
SOME just don’t care. As if they are completely oblivious or ignorant about those things, and you know what? The confident vibe that they give out and the air that seems to glow around them, is what make me envious with jealousy.
I? I’m trying to change that. I want to do things that I want without looking at the people around me and then losing to peer pressure. I want to be what I want without turning back and waiting for somebody else to catch up. I cannot let others hold me back. It would be against all law of nature to stop someone (or something) from evolving. It’s simply a sin to stop a flower from blooming.
But then again, that doesn’t mean if 99% of the population of the world are normal citizens and the 1% are convicted criminals, I would want to be a convicted criminal too. NO.
My philosophy, however, does not apply to stupids things like that.
I apologize for today’s rather serious and gloomy post. I shall compensate the lack of humour with a funny picture below:
P.S. Did I manage to make you laugh?
~ Anonymously Secret
Stiletto and Flats 21 August 2009
Posted by Anonymously Secret in Posts that I try to be funny but failed miserably.Tags: blog, blogger, blogging, christian lacroix, crazy, flats, fun, funny, girls, heels, humor, humour, laughs, life, personal, random, shoes, slippers, stiletto, teenagers, thoughts, woman, women
9 comments
You know you’re a girl who’s born to wear heels when you put on a pair of slippers, walk out of the house and fall flat on your face. Which was exacly what happened to me two days ago.
So ladies, what are you? Are you in for heels or are you more to keeping the soles of your feet on the ground?
I, for one, cannot get used to wearing anything flat anymore. But I wear running shoes though.
Btw, an interesting tip: Wearing heels promotes blood circulation.
P.S. New top 10 list on why I don’t like bratty, snotty, annoying and noisy little kids.
P.P.S. I updated my About Me page.
~ Anonymously Secret
Twitter. Twits. Tit. 17 August 2009
Posted by Anonymously Secret in Posts that I try to be funny but failed miserably.Tags: blog, blogger, blogging, bored, funny, humor, humour, laughs, life, malaysia, personal, School, secret, student, thoughts, tits, twits, twitter
16 comments
Oh whoops! I did not just said tit.
XD I just did!
Well, I jumped on the Twitter wagon.
No seriously, I meant that literally. I ‘jumped’ on it. One minute I was looking for inspirations around the web, trying very hard to ignore all the porn pop-ups, and next, I found myself looking at my very own Twitter page.
So everyone, follow me on Twitter! If you don’t: I will find out your cellphone number, call you every night and say, “I know what you did last night…” and hang up unexpectedly.
So, no. You don’t want that to happen, do you? ;)
Click here to go to my Twitter page~
(Or else…)
:D
~ Anonymously Secret
I am a nice person. 10 August 2009
Posted by Anonymously Secret in Posts that I try to be funny but failed miserably.Tags: Anonymouslysecret, anonymous, secret, malaysia, anonymously, anon, blog, blogging, blogger, personal, Friends, sijil penilaian malaysia, funny, humour, random, fun, life, high school, student, humor, thoughts, swine flu, laughs, tickets, pass, mtv world stage
4 comments
My classmate, Zoe, over at zoerocksthemost.blogspot.com is desperate for a couple of passes to MTV World Stage Live in Malaysia. And because I am nice, (or insane due to my splitting headache from my flu) I dedicate this post to urge ALL OF YOU to vote for her.
She needs 5 more votes to catch up with some other random stranger.
Update: SHE NEEDS MORE VOTES!
If you are asking why you should vote for someone you practically don’t know, my answer is this:
I could be sick with Swine Flu and I might die tomorrow. Plus, I don’t think I’ll make it to heaven (or wherever souls go after they die) because I’m an atheist and because I am a mean person. So, I’m doing this in order to retribute. If she wins, I might go to heaven (or a better place)! Woot!!!
So head over to bryanlyt.com and vote for Zoe. The poll is at the bottom of the first post.
Congratz on winning Zoe! Pearly gates of heaven, here I come!
P.S. I’m making a fool out of myself for you, Zoe. Sheesh.
P.P.S. You are welcome, Zoe :)
~ Anonymously Secret
CAKE! 29 July 2009
Posted by Anonymously Secret in Posts that I try to be funny but failed miserably.Tags: anon, anonymous, anonymously, Anonymouslysecret, birthdays, blog, blogger, blogging, boring, cake, celebrations, cheese, english, event, fun, funny, humor, humour, life, malaysia, random, ridiculous, School, secret, sijil penilaian malaysia, student, teachers, thoughts
18 comments
Birthdays — a joyous and fun event.
As for me, I am only interested in the CAKE. (And the occasional free snacks and drinks too)
For those of you who didn’t know, a trainee English teacher had replaced my malicious and less lovable English teacher. She will be with us for 3 priceless months. Last Saturday was her Birthday. Today, we threw a surprise belated birthday party for her.
Here’s the deal, each student in our class paid 2 bucks. There are 44 students in our class. 44×2=88
They total amount of budget we had was 88 bucks. That is quite a lot if you ask me.
Someone had decided on getting Secret Recipe’s Oreo Cheesecake – which does not come cheap.
Happy Birthday Miss Reena!!!
Due to the insufficient amount of cake, the 44 students in our class (Not counting the absentees) had to compromise, and eat the smallest slice of cake I have ever seen.
That is SOME cake.
Not to mention, I ended up with a stomachache because, apparently, my stomach is not a big fan of cheese.
Oh well! Lesson learnt. Next time, I aim for more CAKE!!!
And will avoid cheese.
P.S. Special thanks to my good friend, Canny, for the pictures of the cake!
~ Anonymously Secret
I won but I don’t think anyone cares… 20 July 2009
Posted by Anonymously Secret in Posts that I try to be funny but failed miserably, Posts that touch 'unintentionally' on sensitive issues.Tags: anon, anonymous, anonymously, Aquaria KLCC, Batu Caves, Batu Ferringhi, blog, blogger, blogging, holiday destination, Kota A Famosa, Kuala Lumpur, life, malaysia, panorama, personal, Pictures, Pulau Redang, random, scenery, School, secret, student, Taman Negara Pahang, telaga 7, thoughts, tourism, tourism quiz, vacation, Visit Malaysia
13 comments
Like I’ve mentioned before…
Last Monday, I was forced to join an inter-school Tourism Quiz held in my school. I met an ear-bleeding ex-classmate and my school’s team (Consisting of me and 3 other girls) WON!
I was seriously TERRIFIED! The guys looked freakishly nerdy and smart. The girls… well… they are the same to me.
Here’s an example of the questions asked:
Where is the Floating Mosque located in Terengganu?
What is the traditional food for the Iban race?
Where are the most popular pineapples in Malaysia planted?
Hello??? I have parents who are over-protective of me! They seem to believe that terrorist will come and take their precious daughter hostage anytime! They believe that rapers and flashers are lurking around in our back alley!
I barely left my own house, what more my state! How would I know what kind of traditional food they eat!? I could barely remember to eat my own meals!
So while the quiz starts at 1pm, we were in the library at 7am (6 hours earlier!) to surf the net for stuffs on Malaysia.
Deirdre was prone on looking at Sports updates — that are completely irrelevant from our main objective there! If I wasn’t watching, she would be looking at some F1 drivers or the latest results of some sports tournament.
Erica was sleeping. I didn’t wake her up. She looked like she was really enjoying that nap! Jealous me!
Alana was reading a steamy love novel.Oooh!
Meanwhile, I was panicking inside (My heart I mean) while staring at the screen and thinking I CANNOT do this. I don’t even LIKE this country!
True enough, I hate this country for their obvious racial discrimination and stupid politicians. I am very keen on talking bad about my country’s politics in this blog. So much that I forgot about the true beauty of this country:
Redang Island. One among the many beautiful islands we have.
Our National Park homes the longest canopy walk in the world.
Aquaria KLCC. Underground tunnel aquarium. You’ll notice that fishes are actually very shy!
Telaga 7 or 7 Wells. Seven waterfalls flow into one another to form a beautiful scenery. Am I the only one who noticed the half naked guy behind there lol?
Kuala Lumpur and how our most populated city looks at night.
Fort A’ Famosa. An old fort now in ruins once used by the Portuguese.
Batu Ferringhi beach in Penang. One of our beautiful beaches.
Batu Caves. A limestone cave popular for Hindu devotees. 272 stairs to climb!
I think I am beginning to love this country again ♥
P.S. Thanks to Majimo for coining the term ear-bleeder!
~ Anonymously Secret
Can I be a Cheeseburger? 17 July 2009
Posted by Anonymously Secret in Posts that I try to be funny but failed miserably, Posts that contains colourful words.Tags: anon, anonymous, anonymously, Anonymouslysecret, blog, blogger, blogging, bored, boring, burger, crazy, depressed, education, exams, food, fun, funny, high school, humor, humour, life, personal, random, ridiculous, School, secret, sijil penilaian malaysia, SPM, student, test, thoughts
16 comments
I’m back!!! My test is finally over…
Here’s a brief summary of what happened during this entire week:
1) I was ‘forced’ to join an inter-school quiz on Malaysia’s Tourism. Guess who won?
2) I fucked up my Biology paper.
3) I screwed my Chemistry paper.
4) Physics paper? Ditto.
5) Malay language. Of course.
6) Additional Maths. Duh!
Being human is hard.
I wish I were a burger.
~ Anonymously Secret
